Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
