he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
