Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
