quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
