There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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