So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
