Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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