so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
being pregnant is like rehab
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
