I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize