I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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