I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
