i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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