On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Everything about him screamed your future.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
