Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
