You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
