My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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