So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
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