I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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