uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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