Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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