You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize