So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
