Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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