trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
