omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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