What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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