I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
