Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
