had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
