4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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