I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
