I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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