Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
