They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
