Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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