why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
