Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
