My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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