She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
