May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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