I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
