sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
