Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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