So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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