wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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