I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
