Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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