hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
porn star boner night. come get it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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