he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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