She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
