Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
