college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
