Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
