I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
