My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
These tits shall not be calmed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
