im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
