why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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