OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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