Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
