dude i'm inner monologue high
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
