i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
