Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize