you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
