He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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